Tight one

Back in the win column.  We were thin.  On the blue line we had Pierre, Ti-Gas, & P.A.  Upfront we had Pierre, Jeff, Ti-Boy, Bobby, myself and a loaner from the Orange Bastards, Ben.  They got up on us 1-0, and then yours truly tied it to make it 1-1.  There it stayed for the next 20 minutes or so.  Once again, we had lots of chances to put pull ahead and put it out of reach, but we couldn't close the deal.
In our end we hustled and came back to pick up the trailer and clog up the middle.  Ron was solid and we weren't giving them that second whack. Ron made a big save on a breakaway with Big Joe sneaking out of the penalty box.  Soon after, Bob tipped in a shot from PA at the point to make it 2-1.  We killed off a too-many-men penalty and didn't fade down the stretch.  Karl showed up for the 10pm game...to bad we started at 9pm!
So there ya have it, 2-1 in a tight one for the good guys. Take that ya Orange Bastards!
We all headed to the bar afterwards for a few refreshments & some greasy grub!


Happy New Years, Ladies!

Flooring Guys Strike!

We were lead by the Flooring Guys Geoge and Andy but it still wasn't enough.  George had a great tip-in from the point and Andy buried his own rebound to lead us in scoring.  We stll fell 4-2 to the White Bastards.
Wally was the difference.  We buzzed and definitely out chanced them but couldn't finish....ya, ya, some old story.

Shootout!

Sorry Boys but I was just way to Hungover after my Staff party to make it Saturday.  But Ti-Boy was good enough to file a report.


"Not Sure if you heard about Sat game. Effin doughnut could not stop an effin beach ball. We lost 8-5. First shot on net went in again. We hit half time down 5-4 then the first 2 shots went in. 8 skaters Myself , Marc and Kenny  on Defense . Anything else need to be said?" ....Ti-Boy

May I have....an 'EFFING DOUGNUT!

That's right kids!  Ron got his first shoutout as we beat the Green Bastards 5-0!  Ha!  We had three lines bang on, with four D.  On the Blue line we had Billy, Marc, Ti-Gas, and a voiceless P.A. Upfront we had Guy, Jeff, Hob, George, Gilles, Karl, Kenny, Ti-Boy, and yours truly.  The Green Bastards had two lines with one spare up front.  It started out back and forth and we had a few shifts early on where we got pinned in, but we slowly took the momentum.  
The three lines made all the difference.  We out hustled them to loose pucks and funny how that works.  The bounces seemed to go our way.  We clogged up the neutral zone and rarely did they come flying out on odd man rushes.  In our end we kept it up the boards, we moved our feet a little better and covered the slot.
Ronnie was solid, making the first save and we were better at clearing out in font of the net and not giving them that second and third whack.
At the other end, as I said, we had a little more jump.  We pressured their D and got some turnovers.  Our D was better able to hold the Blue line and bang it back it and breakup their breakout.
It's a simple game Gentleman!
Take that, ya Green Bastards!

F@#$ing White Bastards

Fuuuuuuuuuuu...........

It's taken me 3 day to cool off from this one.  We had the White Bastards 3-1 with 17 minutes to go.  We lost 5-3.  Same old story.  We should have put this game away ten times over.  Too many chances and didn't score.  We missed 4 or 5 breakaways......4 or 5!!!!!  Breakaways!  You know the thing where you go in on the goalie all by yourself....Ya..those things.  Not to mention the other numerous chances we ALL had. 
Anyway I'm done....enough of that shit.  The White Bastards are officially Enemy # 1!  

Turning the Corner

Well don't look now it's two in a row!  We beat the Orange Bastards 4-3. We had three lines up front and decided to go with three D.  Andy, Marc, and Pierre's tongues were dragging but they held up.  Marc had one lovely shift where he flailed around, looking like he forgot a skate guard on one foot.  Up front we had myself, Ken, P.A., Guy, Jeff, Hob, George, Karl, & Gilles.
We got down 1-0 early.  Ronnie was still thinking of Minnie Mouse and scratching his sunburn when hot shot hit the crossbar and in.  We tied it 1-1 and then they took the lead again 2-1.  We shuffled a couple of guys up front and it paid off right away.  In one shift we scored two. Can't remember who got the first, but Jeff the Rookie got the second, his first of the year I think, making it a one goal lead 3-2.
It looked like we were going to start to pull away but nooooo....
A fluke, Pierre, tried to clear it, it went off a skate and in.  Just like that 3-3.  We saved the best for last.  With about 7 or 8 minutes to go P.A. gets tangled up with one of their D as we're coming out of our end, he kicks it ahead, swings his stick loose around his back and I'm on to the right with one guy to beat.  P.A. takes the shot as we cross the blue line, I get the rebound on my backhand and try to bang it in, it gets through the goalie as he's sliding across and it's sitting there in the crease and P.A. pokes it home.
We had to kill a late penalty as Pierre needed a breather, but we hustled and killed it off.  We were definitely more determined, we hustled more and were coming up more with the loose pucks.  Good win as we came from behind twice in this one....take that ya Orange Bastards!  


Cast your vote on the right.  

Team that Drinks together WINS together

Don't adjust your screen ....We beat the Green Bastards 5-2 for our first Win in over a month!  Upfront we had myslef, Pierre N, Ti-Boy on one line and Guy, Gilles, and Bob made up the other. On the backend was Andy, Pierre G, and Ti-Gas back up from the minors.
We jumped out to 1-0 lead with yours truly potting a short hander with a great hustle and feed from Guy.  They tied it 1-1 then we made it 2-1 as the Rookie Bob got his first.  They tied 2-2 and we had a bad stretch where fill in Goalie Michel kept us in it.  But that was as close as they got. Can't remember who got the next one but we made it 3-2 and we poured it on.  Soon is was 4-2 but it wasn't that close, we left a ton of goals out there. Rob the Green Bastard was solid.  
We had two lines really clicking.  We managed to hang onto the puck much better, made better passes, and were able to gain the offensive zone.  We only forechecked one man most of the night making their D carry it out, and more often than not, they made a bad pass or coughed it up. The Green Bastard forwards rarely were able to break out free and clear and get their speed going. In our end, they mounted pressure but we were better along the boards and we clogged up the slot and managed to get in the way, not giving them clear lanes.
Ti-Gas had a beauty, picking up a loose puck in the neutral zone a little dipsy doodle around their D and fired a low shot stick side. Gilles capped it off with a late goal and the final was 5-2 for the Good Guys....take that ya Green Bastards!  Another first was Pierre Niles got his first win!  The worm she turns boys!

So of course we attributed our win to the fact that some of us went to the bar on Thursday night.  Don't know if that's the case but you certainly can't argue with the results.  I know it's only Beer League hockey, but Damn, it felt good to win a game!
Bottoms up, Ladies!


Oh, and as promised, New Tasty Treats for all!  I'll try and get to it as soon as I can.

It's Official....

I gots a Dick for ya!

....we suck Donkey Dick! With 3 lines we still went down 5-3 to the White Bastards.


The only positive was that we got as many out at the Bar after the game then we usually get at the games.  Here's the SheepDogs.  That band we were talking about last night that are in town. They're kind of a mashup of The Guess Who, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and the Allman Brothers.
 My fav track is # 10 Catfish 2 boogaloo

Craptacular....

4-2 loss to the Orange Bastards.  We only had 8 Skaters and then Karl showed up late and made it 9.  Myself, PA, and Pierre on D.  John, George, Guy, Gilles, Karl, and spare Bob up front.  
Two of their goals came right off the face off.  The third cam from a bad giveaway.  We scored with about 12 minutes left to make it 3-2 and looked like we might make a run.....but of course not.  They scored with about 5 minutes left and that was it.

Whatever.....

Loss to the Green Bastards 7-5.  That's all I got to say about that.
It's been one month since we last won a God Damn Hockey Game!

Crosby

Ahhh...crap..

Well...we didn't loose.

We only had 7 skaters and no Goalie.  Andy and Marc on D.  Myself, John, Karl, PA, T-Gas upfront.  Rob the Green Bastard played two in a row for us and we borrowed a forward and a D to get us to nine.
We jumped out to a 2-0 lead.  Then they clawed their way back and tied it at 2-2.  We grabbed they lead at 3-2 with about 8 or 9 minutes to go.  Wally the Bastard was solid.  Then with under 3 minutes to go, the Green Bastard playing D for us gets a cross checking penalty.
Of course they scored on the penalty shot.
There ya have it 4-4.

Off to a Rough Start....

Now that's a TURD!

Well, not really in the mood for this.  First a little catch up.  I was told we lost last Saturday 6-2.

Last night was a Turd! It was 3-2 for the Orange Bastards about halfway through.  I missed a breakaway, and Guy continues to be snakebit.  Then the parade to the penalty box started and everything went to SHITE!  There were a few dodgy calls but whatever.  The lines got all messed up.  During about a 10 minute stretch they pumped 3 or 4.  We got the last two goals late to make it somewhat respectable, but it ended 8-4.

It's quickly becoming a matter of Pride Genttlemen.  We've played 10 games and only have 2 wins to show for it.

Second Verse....Same as the first!

Where's that third line?

Mmmmm...Ok..Let's see. What happened the last time we played the White Bastards. Got up early, proceeded to pepper the snot out of Wally, couldn't score, let them hang around, sagged in the second half, and had to battle for a tie. Yup, that about sums it up...copy / paste..only this time we lost.

Dropped one to the White Bastards 4-2. We had 9 skaters, Pierre, Andy, and Marc on the back end with myself, PA, Gilles, Jeff, Guy, and Pierre N. up front.
Pierre N got us on the board first to make it 1-0. Then we spent the next 20
minutes flailing away on Wally but he shut the door. We couldn't get that 2nd one and easily could have been up by two or three. 

We let them hang around and sure enough we started to sag and they popped a couple and we were down 2-1. Ron was solid during this stretch and we managed to tie it as PA banged one in. But right off the face off after our goal, about 20 seconds, they took the lead again 3-2. They got another late and there ya have it 4-2 loss to the White Bastards. Three of their 4 goals were due to horrible give aways in our own end.

Up front we all had decent chances to score but couldn't finish. Pierre G. flubbed on a juicy rebound. Marc, myself and PA had a nice tic tac toe play, but PA rang it off the post then crossbar and out. But special mention goes to rookie Guy who, and what can only be explained as some sort of Brain Spasm, after Wally misplayed a puck behind the net it squirted out to Guy for and open net tap in...but...wait....HE MISSED! What! I have no words to describe it. Congrats Guy! You've been immortalized in the Blog.




NEW FEATURE

I've got another page with the roster. Before every game simply check whether you'll be at the game or not. We'll try and get some Spare's names and numbers up there so you can call if you're not going to make it. I not sure how this form is going to work so give it a try and we'll see what happens.I'm also going to figure out how much we owe for dues. I'll send out and email.

Enough with the Ties!

You No Score tonight!!

Doh!  Another Tie!  Last night we had 3 full lines with 5 D.  You'd think we'd put a stomping on the Green Bastards.  They had 2 full lines with one extra forward.  It was a very quick paced game.  There wasn't much room out there. It was tight checking and you didn't have much time with the puck before someone was on you.  
They jumped out to 1-0 lead on a short handed goal.  Seriously though, that's the second game in a row we give one up on the PP.  We should consider 'Declining' the penalties.  The Refs called at least two or three penalties for each side.  With three lines it really screws things up on the bench.....so Stop it!  Alright!
We gradually took over the play and got the tying goal about mid way through.  We definitely carried the play the rest of the way but we couldn't score!  Ron wasn't overly busy, but he was solid and made the saves when called upon.  Rob the Green Bastard frustrated us all night.  Not often you see a defensive struggle in the Beer Leagues but there ya have it, a 1-1 tie.


Gents, it's time to start brining in your dues ($$).  I'll dig up the league info and I'll email everyone with figures.  I should be right around $300 - $340 again this year.


Pierre I'll email you the info ASAP.


I'll try and find some time to update the Treats and the Trunk this weekend

Blech....a Tie

Doh!

We let one slip away.  W had three lines out for Saturday.  The White Bastards on the other side only had 9 skaters.  We figured it was a matter of time and we'd wear em down.  Unfortunately Wally the Bastard had other ideas.  We got up to a 2-0 lead but it wasn't a comfortable lead.  They got one on a bouncing shot from the point to make it 2-1.  During this time we were getting lots of chances but we just couldn't put one behind Wally.  They tied it and then on a horrendous line change we got caught on a Fucking SHORT Handed goal.  Some power play, eh?
We battled and Gilles was able to tie it up a 3-3.  We pressed for the winner but not dice.  Should have had that one.....Bastards.

Back on track

Back in the W column.  We put a 7-2 beat down on the Black/Orange Bastards. On the back end we had Pierre, Ti-Gas, Bill & Ken.  Upfront we had myself, Gilles, Hob, Guy, George, PA, & John.

We got off to a much better start.  We were better at getting it out of our end, although we definitely still need some improvements there.  The biggest difference is we were hanging on to it better through the neutral zone and were able to carry the puck in.  As mentioned after last weeks game, we dumbed 'er down. We were shooting and going to the net. We started getting some early chances and it seemed to give us some jump.  We jumped out to 3-0 lead.  Then in one shift, they got one to make it 3-1 and we went right back up and scored two all within the space of a couple of minutes to make if 5-1.  Things settle in and we started to fall asleep.  They slowly took the momentum and scored a couple to make it 5-3 with more than 10 minutes to go.  We slowly started to push back and then we got a power play from a high sticking call.  PA popped one in on the ensuing Power Play and Guy capped it off with another late to make it 7-2.  We cruised to the finish and there ya have it ya Black Bastards!  7-2 for the good guys!

The highlight or lowlight depending on how you look at it was the Black Bastards second goal.  Kenny was tied up in front of our net with someone and promptly proceed to dump his sorry ass on the ice while simultaneously Hob tried to clear it out or our end with a pass across the blue line.  Their D man intercepted and fired a quick wrist shot at the net.  Meanwhile, Ron was enjoying the molestation of this guy as the puck slid gently by into the net.  The ref himself unsure of what the Fuck just happened....called Goal!  Waved off the delayed penalty while both teams stood around confused.  A clusterfuck of a play worthy of any Beer League highlight reel!

Just a heads up!  The 'effing Beer store closes at 9pm now on weeknights.  Found that out the hard way.....Sonofabitch!

What's that smell?

That was some serious STINK!

Well that makes three in a row.  Three losses that is.  The Green Bastards put it to us 5-1.  Ron was by far our best player and kept it from getting very ugly.  We got off to a slow start again.  Giving up and early goal.  But at least it wasn't in the first 10 seconds.  We fell behind 2-0 and you got the feeling it was going to be a long night.  They popped another one and it was 3-0 before we started to get anything going.
Again we were outskated and to a man, were horrible with the puck, coughing it up over and over again in our own end and in the neutral zone.  Especially weak along the boards in our end with their D continually keeping it in and prolonging the play in our end. We can't hang onto it, we're waiting to long to move it and we're not making good passes.
We did get some chances but we weren't driving the net and a lot of our shots weren't getting through.  Off legs and sticks.  And to Rob The Green Bastard's credit, he was solid when he had to be and made a couple big stops and we just couldn't get anything going.
I seem to remember a similar stretch last year.  We turned it around.  We dumbed it down.

• Don't leave your own end before the puck.
• Make sure you get it out
• Put pucks at the net
• Drive the net for the garbage

It's beer league hockey boys....let's not make things complicated.

Don't forget to vote on the new Sweater issue.  See sidebar.

Hero to Goat

Before we get to Thursday's 6-2 loss let's get caught up with last Saturday's 6-3 loss.  That's right kids.  From the opening night win we've dropped two in a row.

It seems our PA with his hat trick on opening night got himself a different kind of hat trick last Saturday.  He got himself 3 penalties and tossed from the game.  Leaving an already short bench even shorter.  Hero to Goat....

Thursday was my turn to turn a trick.  After scoring on a penalty shot in the first game I coughed up the opening face off.  It came rolling straight back to me and I tried to shovel it over to Ti-Gas but it flubbed over my stick. Their winger grabbed it right up the middle and put one through the wickets.....Bang.  1-0 four seconds in.  Hero to Goat...

They jumped out to a 2-0 lead before we finally got one to make it 2-1.  They simply out skated us.  We couldn't hang on to the puck.  We couldn't give or take a pass and constantly coughed it up in the neutral zone.  During one disastrous shift they popped two to make it 4-1.  We scrapped and got another to make it 4-2.  The turning point came when on a two-on-one Ti-Boy walked in and rang one off the post.  That would have gotten us to within one....but it wasn't to be.  They banged in a couple more and there ya have it.....Final 6-2 for the White Bastards.

Now in an attempt to settle the issue of buying new Sweaters....Let's put it to a vote.  See sidebar.

Another Season Begins

Well Gents, here we go again!  


Another hockey season is upon like a Fat Kid on Smarties!  It's nice to see everyone survived the summer (Monsoon) we had. Also the trend of adding Girth to our overall lineup each season hasn't slowed.  Some have contributed more than others, and for that we thank you.


This year started off with resounding 6-1 Ass Whoopin' of the Green Bastards.  Early indications of the action didn't leave much room for hope, seeing how we barely left our own end.  New guy between the pipes, Ron, was probably saying WTF have I got myself into.  I gotta play behing these Monkeys all year! We soon started to straighten our shit out and head the other way.  We were lead once again by PA with a hat trick.  Because of this he is absolved from his attocious email sent earlier in the day. 


We got up to 3-0 lead and the game settled in.  Ron made some great saves through this stretch and never let them get any momentum.  Then my moment of Glory arrived....well...it arrived after an embarrassing play where I couldn't outskate the D on which I had a pretty good head start, and was hauled down on a breakaway. The ref called a penalty shot!  To which my immediate reaction was,"Can I call a time-out? Because I need about 5 minutes to suck in 3/4 of the oxygen in the building and my burning legs are incapable of lifting my bloated fat ass of the ice right now"!....what's that?...no, can't do that.  Alrighty then, off to center Ice we go.


Obviously I wanted to score to help win the game, but the real motivation came from knowing if I MISS....there are 15 of my so-called "Buddies" who'll rip me mercilessly until Xmas! And really that's the way it's gotta be.  So I dug deep into my bag of tricks...Ok...it's more like a purse...and it's not very deep.  I barreled down on Rob The Bastard...a couple of moves...a head fake for good measure and I put one by him on the backhand...Whew!


From there we cruised.  John & Karl had a tic tack...tick tack...another tic tack...and Toe goal. And PA finished off the night by completing his hat trick. Final 6-1 for the good guys.

Great Year....but ended with a Fizzle

As laid out in the last post, we ended our regular season with a fizzle by dropping the last 3 games of the year.  So then it was off to the year end Dynomites Tournament.


We lost the first game 2-1 to the Moncton Slowpokes.  I wasn't there, but by all accounts we outshot the Slowpokes but couldn't score (remember this theme).  So next was some boys from East Haunts NS.  at the Kay.  Sporting our hometown "Lewisville" jerseys at the Kay we promptly stank up the new joint with a 7-4 loss.  Now, mind you it was closer then the score indicates.  We got off to slow start and found ourselves down 4-1.  Be battled back but everytime we got within two, and the momentum going our way, they'd pop another.  They had about 3 or 4 good players up front and they burnt us with the long stretch pass.  We just couldn't adjust.  Although playing from behind we had to take a few chances in the offensive end.  Remembering our earlier theme....yes...say it with me....We couldn't SCORE.  They did not have a very good Goalie, but we made him look like Bernie Parent!


So next up was Sunday morning vs. the Saint John Rangers, who we found out had beaten our previous two foes.  Well we had a decent game and came away with a 3-3 tie.  Again....say it with me...We couldn't SCORE!  Had lots of chances, with the best one for last.  But before we get to that, what would a Dynomites tournament be without Lewisville getting a late penalty with too many men on the ice (P.A.).  So there we were with less than 3 minutes to go, short handed game knotted at 3.  Gilles gets a turn over near our Blue line and gets a clear break away from centre ice.....with less than two minutes to go....He Shoots!.....He...He...Wide Right! Wide Right!  NOOOOOOooooooo!  Gilles will be seeing that one all summer looooong.


We had another Kenny Dynomites incident, but I"m not getting into that.  To tell the truth I don't know what was going on there.


So another year comes to a close.  I was a good year, have a good summer boys!  Oh, lest I forget....according to Ti-Gas, Marc is going to have a Shit Snapping Party this summer!  I'll leave it to Karl to fill ya in on what exactly Shit Snapping is.  See ya there!

Last four Games of the Year

Well the last four games of the year went like this....
We beat the Black Bastards 6-3 at the Cage and we were sitting at 17-11-5.  With 3 games to go we had a 20 win season in sight.  Then we promptly "Shat The Bed" and lost 3 in a row.  


We had a winning season with a 17-14-5 record but it's a little bitter sweet the way we ended it....now those Fuckers can giggle at us all summer 'cause they beat us in the last match up of the year....they're all BASTARDS!


We had a better year than last...a winning season, so all in all ya can't beat that I guess


Now we're off to defend our Dynomites title.  We're going to have to cobble together a team, 'cause it looks like more than a few guys can't make all the games.  

No Tasty Treat for You!

Because of our terrible finish I've decided "No Tasty Treats for You!"

Short Handed...BASTARDS!

Special Guest Blogger....Alain, gives us the rundown

The White Bastards came on with a strong start with an early breakaway goal. Then, in a beautiful example of self-harm, Big Al tries to intercept a pass and deflects it in his own net. (I swear I wasn't

drunk.) The 9 Yellows put up some good work and made it 2-2. We tied the game two more times (3-3, 4-4) but they got a shorthanded breakaway goal to make it 5-4. The Mighty Yellows pulled the goalie and T-Boy finished with a beautiful slapshot that could have been a goal - and a penalty shot if there were any time left on the clock.

We've seen worse (a lot worse). 5-4 final score.

"...so, I'm one handing this guy"

We had 9 skaters and we lost one half way through but still managed Stomp on the Green Bastards 5-1.  Upfront we had myself, George, Pat, Karl, Ken, and PA.  On D, Ti-Gas, Pierre, and Andy.
We got to Rob early on a 3 on 2. Their D backed up as we came across the blue line and PA let a good low wrist shot go to the stick side 1-0.  Shortly after Karl got one with a shot right on the ice glove side 2-0.  The Green Bastards had their speedy guys and we're buzzing and Al was making all the saves.  We managed to keep 'em wide on the rush and the forwards were coming back to clog up the middle.
We popped another to make 3-0 but it never really felt safe.  Again, Al had a great game and never let them get one to get any momentum.
At some point Pierre tried his patented "One Hander" around some guy, who promptly slew footed him into the boards.  Pierre got back to the bench and realized his skate blade was cracked, this relegated him to the bleaches where he looked like the scariest "hockey Mom" you ever saw.
We popped a couple more and it was 5-0.  Then Ken decided to cripple some guy along the boards.  From all accounts they were fighting for the puck along the boards and Ken decided to Belly Flop on this guy's knee.  The guy let out a huge Yelp like he'd been shot.  That killed about 5 minutes off the clock by the time he got off the ice.
We were cruising for a shutout when "Someone" decided at our blue line to do some dangling, coughed it up, and the Green Bastards gained the zone and after a scramble the puck bounced up and over behind Al with 30 seconds left....Doh!.....5-1
After the game in the dressing room the following was overheard "...so I'm one handing this Guy"...WTF! Alright, listen here.  We don't give a Damn what you do with your soccer buddies, dribbling yer balls, or whatever, but you ain't "one handing" anybody on this team, Gauvin! 

Fast or Feemin....WTF?

With only 7 skaters we managed to salvage a 2-2 Tie with a determined bunch of White Bastards at the cage.  They had 11 skaters so they fired a D man our way.  Dude played solid for us, no fault there.  We had myself, Hob, Marc (Michaud?), George, and PA upfront with Pierre, Ti-Gas, and buddy from them on D.  
They jumped out to 1-0 lead early and they were all over us like a Fat Kid on Smarties.  They were hustling and getting all the loose pucks.  We finally started to push back and even things out.  PA got us on the board with a Classic PA long bomb up the middle.  He fended off their D and let a solid wrist shot go right on the ice that beat Wally stick side.  We grabbed the lead 2-1 when Hob banged in a loose puck at the side of the net.
 

The play settled in and we definitely spent more time in our end, but we kept them to the outside and Al was solid and really controlled the rebounds.  Not to mention we couldn’t seem to win a faceoff to save our lives.  To our credit we didn’t get a lot of sustained pressure but we had some good quality chances during this stretch but just couldn’t finish.  Hob it the crossbar and I couldn’t corral the puck as it bounced around, Marc missed the top corner by a few inches that would have finished a great play, and others. 

As the game headed into the last 10 minutes we really started to sag, and sure enough, they tied it with about 5 minutes to go.  We hung for the tie….2-2.   

Many adjectives were thrown about to describe our missing team mates, and Pierre in his mighty wisdom described the situation as, “Fast or Feemin!”….right, WHAT!.....Ok, you don’t talk so much anymore, alright.

Skunked!!!

Where's da Muff!

Guest Blogger....Mr. Stache!

OK Doug...

It goes like this.

Had a pretty good lineup with 11 players...Marc, Andy, Ti-Gar, Pierre on D   (since last time with 5 D we sucked, we tried to rotate somebody through the forwards)..Marc, Ken, George, PA, Gilles, Karl, Jeffrey    Well it didn't go so well.  We probably spent more time in their zone than ours, but we couldn't get any shots on net.  I am sure we only shot 4 or 5 times halfway through the game and we were down 3 nothing before we knew it.  My only salvation was when Marc Cormier commented on my - 3 status and then went -2 for the rest of the game and we finished with 5-0 loss.

The absolute highlight of the night and probably a candidate for the Highlight of the Year was when Ti-Gars was trying to hold the blueline and fell ars over tea kettle backwards with nobody within 20 feet of him.   Clearly he had 2 easy choices to make.  Flip the puck in the zone deep from his belly position or get up and flip the puck in the zone.  He chose a third option which few of us would have considered.  He chose to take control of the puck, wait for the offensive guy to get close to him and then try stick handling around the guy using all the speed he could muster from lying on his belly.  Net result 2 on 1 break scores for the green b@$tards... down 3 - 0...  

On another note I have been playing the Move song and have some excellent additions to the list:

• U2...                   One more in the name of Muff
• Supremes....       Stop in the name of Muff
• Clovers                Muff Potion # 9

My personal favorite......

• The Miracles            I am just a Muff Machine...... OOOOOOH YEAH!!

Only seems appropriate that I was home with the "Squirts" while you guys were Shittin' the Bed at the Rink...Zing Pow!

I'm all outta Muff!

We just keep on rolling!  Smoked the Black/Orange Bastards 6-3 last night.  It could have been a lot worse.  We left quite a few goals out there, but give the goalie at the other end some credit, he made some good saves.  It didn’t look good early on, but ya just had that feeling that we weren’t gonna loose this one.

We had myself, Marc, Marc, and Andy on D with Pat, George, Gilles, Hob, Karl, & Ti-Boy up front.

We found ourselves in an early hole down 2-1, when Marc C. took a penalty, which to his defense was a good penalty ‘cause Big Joe was heading in all alone.  We started the PK and they weren’t getting anyting going.  Hob was hustling, forechecking one of their D who had a massive brain cramp and decided to cut in front of his own net.  Hob just poked it off his stick and in the net….Bang.  All tied 2-2.  Later that same shift they coughed it up at our blue line and Gilles scored the second short hander’ to take the lead 3-2.  We extended it to 4-2 and by this point we were all over ‘em.  They got a lucky one to make it 4-3, but it was only a matter of time.  We popped a couple more and it ended 6-3.  I could easily have been 10-3.

The night’s highlight was George, in a moment of weakness, made a HUGE confession……….He’s going to AIR SUPPLY at the Casino! (insert joke here)

Then we played a fun little game, Replace the word “Love” with “Muff” in any song….works every time.

I’m all outta Muff – Air Supply

You give Muff a bad name – Bon Jovi

Addicted to Muff – Robert Palmer

Muff me Tender – Elvis

Baby Muff – Supremes

Can’t buy me Muff – Beatles

All you need is Muff – Beatles

Hello, I Muff you – Doors

Best of my Muff – Eagles

Justify my Muff - Madonna

Muff will keep us together – Captain & Tennille

50 Way to leave your Muffer – Paul Simon

Keep on Muffing you – REO Speedwagon

Crazy little thing called Muff – Queen

What’s Muff got to do with it – Tina Turner

And last but not least…..The Power of MUFF! – Celine Dion


Have fun at the concert George!  Don't forget to buy a T-Shirt!

Not a Good Day for Wally!

Wally NOT Happy!

The White Bastards showed up with only 3 regulars and a bench full of spares.  So we really didn't know what to expect.  The end result was a 7-2 Spanking of the White Pricks and Wally a none to happy camper at the other end.
Started out pretty good, and we slowly got up to 3-0 lead.  Had Marc, Andy & Ti-Gas on D, with myself, Johnny, Ti-Boy, George, Hob, and PA up front.  Then in the same shift, they scored two ...bang...bang....and all of a sudden it was 3-2.  We didn't panic.  They had one good line that would give us some trouble but we kept 'em to the outside and Al was solid controlling the rebounds, while most of the shots were coming from the outside.  We kept it up the boards and nothing to cute up the middle.  We got the fourth one and the route was on...we never looked back.
The Highlight of the night was Andy charging up center cutting off a crossing pass at center ice and barreling in, split the D, deeked Wally slid it between the legs....then DAMN NEAR KILLED HIMSELF crashing into the post!  But it counted. Oh, yeah...Andy was OK too.
The Lowlight was PA cherry picking with a 7-2 lead up at their blue line with less than 5 to go.  Thankfully he missed...
Solid effort by all and we sent the White Bastards home with a swift kick to the groin!

2 for 1...A Tie and a Win!

TIE
Need to catch up.  We tied the Black Bastards 4-4 last Saturday.  We only had 8 Skaters.  The Black Bastards gave us one skater which gave two lines up front and 3 D.  We trailed at one point 2-1 but came back to take the lead 3-2.  We're were getting lots of chances but couldn't finish.  Then they got a couple and we found ourselves down 4-3.  Then, I think it was Gilles, popped one to tie it 4-4.  In the last five minutes Claude had the game on his stick at the side of the net but couldn't bury it.  Then the icing on the cake with about 1 min left with a faceoff in our end, we managed to flip it out and got Pat on a breakaway.  But Little Miss Five Hole stopped hime with 2 seconds on the clock.....Game..Tie 4-4.


WIN
Well again we only managed 9 skaters.  Two lines up front, with myself, Hob, Karl, George, PA, and Gilles with  Marc C., Pierre, and Ti-Gas on the back end.  We started off with a BANG!  Right of the faceoff at center it goes back to Pierre who tries to go across to the other D...BUT....puts it right on the stick of their center who walks right in and scores all in about 3 seconds.  I think Alain was still adjusting his jock or something.  We tied it with a long Bomb pass to PA who was way up ice...I think there's a name for that....anyway he breaks in and pops one stick side...Tie 1-1!


The Green Bastards had two lines with one really strong one with 17 and Kenny B. buzzing all night along with the "Kid" #12 on the point.  Their big line cycled the puck and had us in our own end a lot of the times.  But, we played a solid D and kept them to the outside on the perimeter.  They were getting some long shots but Alain was stoppping 'em and controlling the rebounds.  The boys on the Blue Line had a solid game breaking up a lot of their rushes.  For the most part the Forwards were coming back and clogging up the middle and the points.


We took the lead 2-1 with yours truly popping in a rebound.  Gilles pulled the faceoff straight back to Marc who got off a good low shot on net.  I drove the net and just had to bang it home.  We went up 3-1 with Karl getting one through the Five Hole.  Karl, Hob, and I screwed up a 3 on 1 but managed to dig it out and got it to the front of the net, Karl used the 'Ole soccer feet to kick it up to his stick and put it in.


They got a mystery one to make it 3-2.  A shoot in deflected off Ti-Gas' stick and somehow ended up in the net...but none of us saw it.  Gilles iced this sucker with a goal with about 2 minutes to go.  PA, George, and Gilles had a good shift forechecking and managed a turn over.  It got to the front of the net and Gilles finished it off.  HA!  Game, Set, Match....Ya Green Bastards!

Dropped first of the year

Well that sucked.  I guess 5 D just doesn't work, eh Pierre?  We had two lines up front and, yes, five D.  Just wasn't our night.  The Green Bastards came out hustling and got up on us 3-0 before we started to mount any kind of push back.
We finally started to turn things around and got one to make 3-1.....but we were never able to close the gap to more than two goals.  They got one to make 4-1, we fought back to get to 4-2.  Then they score another quick one to make it 5-2, we fought back again to make it 5-3.
After the midway point we were clearly carrying the play but Rob the Green Bastard was keeping us out.  We pulled Al but with under 3 minutes to play PA mugged some guy behind our net.  Penalty shot.  Of course he scored....it just wasn't our night.  Green Bastards 6, Good Guys 3.
Sonofabeetch!!!

We're Rolling!

Yeppers! Got 2 full lines out last night an Beat Down the Green Bastards 7-2 in a game that was closer than the score indicates. We had Pierre, Ti-Gas, Marc C. & Andy "My Steelers are so Great" Vail on the Blue line, with myself, Pat, Karl, PA, Gilles, & Ken up front.


We jumped out to a 2-0 lead but they quickly got one back to make it 2-1. It stayed that way for quite a while. It was fast paced game at the cage and the Green Bastards had a couple of spares that gave them 2 solid lines. Alain was solid and made some good saves during this stretch along with Rob "the Green Bastard" at the other end holding the fort as well.


After the half, we started to get the momentum and we're getting better chances. We finally popped the 3rd one and quickly made it 5-1. The final minutes saw them score on a knuckle baller that fooled Al, and we got another while Pierre was hugging Rob. The final was a flip out of our end from PA that slowly glided into the open net at the other end with about 2 seconds left. It ended 7-2.


Take that! Ya Green Bastards!

The Magnificent 5...that's right FIVE!

We called up Warren from the minors to fill in for Alain.  He was overjoyed at seeing the support of five guys show up!  Ti-Gas, Karl, PA, Pat, & yours truly.  There were a few "Choice Words" bantered about for our missing Team Mates.....but the show must go on.

I was the first to hit the ice and little #2 from the Black Bastards skates over and asks, "How many are you guys, can you spare a few?".  I said, "You're shitting me, we're only five", he said, "Fuck, we're only 6!".  Well we're both screwed I guess.

We decided to play 4 on 4, which gave them 2 spares and only 1 for us, but whatever, let's get it on.

I think we jumped out to a 2-0 lead.  They got one back to make it 2-1.
We went up 3-1 then they made it 3-2.  We got up 4-2, and I'm not sure what the sequence was but it ended up 5-3.  We never trailed.  With so much ice we had lots of time and really passed the puck around.  We outshot them and left a lot of goals out there.  We could have had this one running away.  Warren was solid and made some key saves and didn't give up anything cheap.  He was suffering from a chest injury, but that was from a Crazy Carpet...that's another story.


Needless to say we were all sucking wind, but like good Catholic Boys, we pulled it out!

So take that ya Black Bastards, HA! 

A Win at the Cage

We had 2 lines and 3 D. Pierre, Ti-Gas, & Marc (new guy) on the Blue line with Pat, Johnny, Karl, PA, Gilles, and myself up front.  It was back and forth for the first while.  We traded goals and it was 2-2.  We started to wear them down and take it to 'em.  We were really passing the puck well, and banged it out of our end.  We took advantage of some quick transition plays and put a few in.  At the end it was Good Guys 7, White Bastards 3.


Happy New Years.....ya Pricks!  HA!

Magnificent 7

As releayed by email....

Score was 6-4.  We were dubbed the Magnificent 7.  Everyone played all positions.  Richard Draino was in nets and put up a good performance.  Me and Andy tried our luck as forwards – Not good.  We should note that the other team was only 8.  The down side was that we were getting updates of the Junior game from ref.    

Denis Gagnon

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

6-3 win

3 goals Hob + 3 goals P.A. ; mine were lucky, his were skill.

The highlights were not centered on our game.  Russia/Canada Junior game night so skaters were scarce.  Nets were covered by the shower unclogger (Richard).

Beginning of our game, we were all feeling like proud Canadians, as our young junior team had a healthy 3-0 lead over Russia.  Everyone concluded it was wise to leave the comforts of home for that forgone conclusion and come play the game ourselves.

At half time, the guys on the other bench stated Canada was loosing 4-3.  We thought they were kidding.  There was NO WAY that could happen.  After the game, reality dimmed our great efforts for the win over the white team with the 5-3 loss of Canada to Russia.  We all left like loosers.

Highlight:  7 skaters (temporarily only 6 as Carl fighting the flu took a 15 minute break to have a shit).

The other team only had 8 skaters was it wasn’t heavily favoured either side.

Needless to say, it wasn’t the fastest game

I almost forgot, TGars did the same deak move twice and hit a disappointing post (clearly had the tender beat) the first time and stuffed it in the safety of his pads the second time.

PA