Bombarded!

It seems Alain has another talent besides stopping pucks. He's our guest Blogger and sent in the following from the game. I was a last minute no-show. Kids sick, wife sick, coughing, snot, running to the crapper every 10 minutes....you get the picture.

Thanks Alain.

The game started with the scoreboard showing 2-2 (from a previous game) and 60 minutes to play.

"Not a chance in hell" we thought looking at our 7 yellow jerseys against an overstacked and angry-looking White Team helped with some twenty-something ex-UdeM player. Some of us were tired, some hungover.

Some seriously considered twice before dressing up.

Figuring it was going to be an easy feast, the Whites lent us one of their non-regular player, who ended up scoring the first goal, an ice-level shot sneaking through legs and past Wally.

Speaking of legs, it looked like we were out of them after 5 minutes.

But somehow we held against the fire.

The score at half time break: Yellows 1 Whites 0. We could have easily used 15 min of break, but the damn refs whistled us back to play in less than a minute.

Three goals were scored in the next 10 minutes. The White bastards came fast on the left side and snapped a quick one past Alain's blocker side, making it 1-1. Then on a turn around, another point blank shot on blocker side, and it's 2-1. Then one of our offence returned the favor with a nice shot, upstairs past the blocker side.

To put it bluntly, our offence made the best of their 6 shots on goal (Wally's count), opportunistic like leaches sucking on a freshly dead body -- suck the blood while it's still warm! We couldn't have asked for more.

The question was: can we hold the 2-2 tie till the end?

The last 20 minutes was like the carpet bombing of Berlin at the end of WWII. The defense was tired but the guys did an great job stopping players and shots left and right.

At the buzzer an angry White player skated from the blue line, cross checked Pierre and said "You played the whole game like that, you fucker!"

Priceless.

The scoreboard was prophetic, the act was heroic.

Merry Christmas White Bastards!

3 lines..No Problem

We handed a the Green Bastards a good Whoopin'. Probably only the second time all year we had 3 lines out. The Green Bastards had two lines, but it was probably the best lineup they could put out there.

Alain had a solid game and we slowly wore 'em out and finished 8-2. Beauty!

Take that ya Green Bastards!

BrainCramp!

We tied the Black Bastards 3-3, but we let this one slip away. Don't remember all the details, but I do remember how we ended up with a tie.

We had a 3-2 lead with about 5 minutes to go....then we got a collective BRAINCRAMP! Karl got the puck along the boards in our end and for some reason turned back into our end and slid a pass over to Bill, who wasn't expecting it, he bobbled it, then Alain Bobbled it....and then it was in the net. Beauty, eh!

We pressed in the last 2 minutes and almost scored but it wasn't to be. Damn!

2 for 1

Since we've dropped two in a row, I'll just package the last two games in one shit pile.  Lost on Thursday to the Green Bastards 4-2.  We were badly out hustled and Alain kept us in it.  We did have some chances but couldn't finish. Kenny missed two breakaways, and that was just how things went.


Saturday we dropped one 5-3 to the White Bastards with Kijiji Goalie Derrick.  He didn't have the best of games.  We missed a lot of chances again and we're in this one right to the end.  They scored the 5th with under 2 minutes.


So there ya have it.  Our scoring has dried up and now we're on a 3 game skid.

Dropped one.

Well let's see...it was 4-0 in the first 4 minutes.  Ya, well if you're going to loose one, may as well get it done with.  
After the ClusterFuck of a start we settled down at least made it competitive.  They still outchanced us, but they had a young ringer in the net and we didn't get a break.


It ended 7-2.  So at least the rest of the game it was 3-2....sorta....got to try and take something positive away.


So, the Hell with it...on to the next one.

D-Fence!!!

Pierre Dalton - 2 goals

Stole one!  Fresh off the plane from Italy, Alain drops a beauty on the White Bastards...3-2!  The D-Men flex their scoring touch.....And...Pat...Yes Pat...gets a 10 minute misconduct!


The White Bastards had a solid lineup with a New Guy on  D and their best skaters up front.  For the Good Guys we had myself, Pierre, Ti-Gas, and (special guest appearance) PA on the Blue line.  Up front, Hob, Karl, George, Pat, Gilles, Ken, & Ti-Boy.


It started off with a good pace, playing in the Cage tends to do that.  The first break came when the puck was dumped into our end, Pierre headed in and picked it up.  Both teams went for a change and Pierre found himself with a whole lot of real estate to bring the puck out.  He it the Jets...well Ok..he kinda put his head down and started up ice...the White "FAT" Bastards were slow getting over the boards, and Pierre found himself hitting the Red line and then the Blue line with about as much speed as he could muster.  He beat the D Man coming across  and gained the zone on the left hand side.  With Wally hugging the post it looked like Pierre was going to pass it out front but instead...fired a shot short side....1-0 for the Good Guys.


They got one to make 1-1 and then made it 2-1.  They were coming hard and we weren't making it easy with stupid neutral zone turnovers. They were doing a good job cycling the puck in our end and throwing it out front creating confusion an limiting us in our breakout.  As always, the White Bastards were Cherry Picking and it was had to keep the offensive zone with those Pricks lurking behind ya.  During this time we started farting around and stopped shooting.  This is where Alain held the fort, shut 'em down and didn't let things slip away.  Finally we started to get a little push back and started getting some chances, but Wally was being a 'Dink' and making his own saves. 


Then finally we got one.  We were putting some pressure on, and a rolling puck squirted out to the point,Ti-Gas just drove it at the net, and after hitting a few shin pads, stick and whatnot..bang! it's behind Wally...2-2!


Shortly after that we had a face-off in their end.  Pat and their "new guy" ...the Prick who likes to handle the puck, who twists and turns, and we have to chase him in the corner back and forth and back and forth and all you want to do when he's Fucking around is pin the LITTLE FUCKER TO THE BOARDS AND SQUEEZE THE LIFTING SHIT OUT OF HIM.....that Guy....but I digress.  


Pat and he get into it along the boards, the sticks come up, the shoving starts, and the Refs gotta come in an break this shit up!  WTF!...We didn't know until after the game that there's a little history with Pat and this little Fucker...they used to work together...'nuff said.  So the Pair of 'em get 10 minutes.


So there's the setup....2-2...with about 15 minutes to go...we each got a man in the box.  Things settle in.  Then...we get a break...Pierre finds himself breaking out of our own end on a 3-on-1...their D-Man backs in and gives up the Blue Line...our wingers are on either side..Pierre let's one RIP!....top corner where MOMMA KEEPS THE PEANUT BUTTER!....3-2 for the Good Guys!...Beauty!


We played solid after that...protecting the lead...not great...but up the boards....and nothing too stupid...because we had to save that for the last 2 minutes. We managed to survive a  Mad Scramble with Wally on the bench and an empty net at the other end...even though a certain player had a chance to dump it in...but instead coughed it up in the neutral zone....only to admit later in the room that he didn't realize we had the lead...who shall remain nameless...(Well maybe his name rhymes with BEN!)


But, when the Buzzer went...3 for the Good Guys....2 for the White Bastards.  Best of all was when the buzzer went # 5 ...slammed his stick on the ice in frustration...Beauty!


Take that ya White Bastards!... Pierre carries the Team with 2 goals, T-Gas chips in another and Alain shuts 'em down....D-FENCE!!!!!


Merry X-mas ya White Bastards...there's an 'Ole Rotten Tatter at the bottom of yer Sock!....HA!

Tie...like kissing yer Sister.

7-7 Tie...dat dere is a lot of goals for about an hours worth of play. On D we had Ti-Gas, Marc, myseld and new guy "Marc".  Up front we had Hob, John, Gilles, Karl, Pat, and Ken.  The black Bastards were a man short of 2 lines, so PA headed over ....TRAITOR!  We brought in Richard (Harry Drain) to take up the spot between the pipes...why he showed up after being bombed for 13 goals the last time ....we're stlll not sure....but we were thankful.


First let me state right here, right now, that I handed in one of my most dreadful performances.  Right up there with the time I showed up Stinking Drunk when we played in the Sunday Night league....but that's another story. 


We jumped out to a 3-1 lead only to see it vanish and found ourselves behind 4-3.  Then the fun began.  We tied it 4-4, then they went up 5-4, we tied it 5-5, they went ahead 6-5...are you starting to see a pattern?  We tied it 6-6, then with about a 3 minutes to go they scored on a 2 on 1 which yours truly help create by pinching at the other end and coming with nothing but my dick in my hand....so we're down 7-6.


We pull Richard with about 1:30 to go and sure enough, Kenny bangs home a loose puck and ties it with about 50 seconds to go.  The Black Bastards managed to get the face off and dump it in.  I raced back and banged it hard up the boards, their winger got a piece of it and their D managed to bang it back in (our winger...don't know).  Richard manages to get a glove on it, and instead of freezing it for a face off and game over...he drops it in the back of the net.  I circle around take a look up.  Both winger and D are hugging the boards (our winger...don't know) so I decide to flip it out....One of the Black Bastards gloves it out of the air, about shoulder height and they get another good shot.  But it stands...7-7.  Whew!


We hung in there.  We could easily have folded many times but we kept coming back. All in all it was just one of those games.  Although it was one of the better games the Black Bastards put together...pricks! 

Four in a Row!

We had 2 lines bang on.  Myself, Andy, Ti-Gas and PA on the Blue Line with Hob, T-Boy, Claude, George, Gilles, and Karl up front.  I know what you're thinking.....Collective team speed was the equivalent of an old Farm Tractor

To top it off, Ti-Gas had to dip into the Kijiji well for a Goalie.  Derrick showed up, from Riverview....Great...."Un Cris de Tete Carre!"   He looked the part, and at least this guy had Goalie Skates and all the proper gear.  Let's just say our warm up didn't instill much confidence.  Hob summed it up just before the opening face off, "This guy sucks!".  .....Here we Go!


Ti-Boy popped out of the Gate with 2 quick goals and staked us to 2-0 lead early.  Hob banged one in and made it 3-0.  The White Bastards we coming but we managed to keep 'em to the outside and we just banged it out the boards.  The forwards were good coming back and we managed to get 'er out.  It wasn't purdy but it did the job.  Our D had good sticks all night.  We just seemed to be getting our sticks in the way and breaking up plays.  


Our Boy Derrick was a fairly big dude and managed to stay square to the puck.  He looked awkward but was making the saves.  He also wasn't giving up many big rebonds after the initial shot.  They finally got one to make 3-1 before the half.  


The second half we settled in to some back and forth....but it looked like the old Lewisville team showed up.  We kept getting chance after chance but just couldn't finish.  It had that feeling of, these misses were going to come back and bite us in the Ass!  But with about 3 minutes to go Karl poked the puck of their D-man stick to the side of their net. It looked like he was going to center it, but instead took a few steps to walk right out front and put a back hand over Wally's glove...Game...Set... Match...4-1.  Karl added another with about 30 seconds to when Karl was chasing down a puck and Wally came screaming out to almost the blue line with a dive....Karl got a good bounce, Calmly walked around a sliding D-Man and tucked it in to the open net to make it 5-1.


Take that ya White Bastards!

Back at .500

We're on a Roll!  That's 3 in a row, Kids!  Wore 'em Down and Wore 'em Out! Put a beat down on the Green Bastards 5-1.  We had another good turn out.  With myself, Marc, Ti-Gas, and Pierre on the Blue Line, and Hob, Johnny, Gilles, PA, Ti-Boy, Karl, and back from his conditioning stint with the Farm Team in Boston, George.


Stated out pretty stiff for both sides.  Had a decent pace and I would say we held the lead in shots for the first ten minutes.....but it stayed 0-0.  I think it was Hob got us on the board first to make it 1-0.  They tied it up at 1-1.  Lost a loose puck at our blue line and we got caught in our own end and they made it 1-1.  
We killed off one penalty and I think it was on our second penalty kill that Ti-Boy received and early Xmas present.  Numbnutts tried to come out of his own end up the middle and put right on Ti-boy's stick standing just inside the blue.  Ti-Boy calmly walked in and roofed it glove side on Rob.


Again, Allain was solid all night and never let 'em get back into the game.  We got a couple more from Gilles and Hob and that was about it....they folded like Superman on laundry day.  We had to kill off a couple of more penalties. We cashed in on one of the two we had.  George capped it off with "Georgian" Johnny on the spot goal in front of the net, right off  the face off.


There she be...5-1 ya Green Bastards.  Back at .500

Payback!....Bitches!

The night didn't start to well.  As we came out to take the ice, the Paramedics were there.  Seems the Ref from the previous game had a minor heart attack or something, so they had to take him out on a stretcher....he seemed OK though.

Well there we were facing the Black / Orange whatever Bastards who obliterated us 13-3 in our last meeting.  Not tonight ya dirty little Whores!  We spanked 'em 6-0 and sent them home with our frozen skate planted firmly up their Ass!  

We had 2 lines and 3 D.  Marc, Pierre, & Ti-Gas patrolling the Blue line with myself, PA, Hob, Ti-Boy, Claude and "New Guy" Gilles up front.  Yours truly got us on the board first as I broke out of our end their D-man pulled a classic pirouette at the Red line and crumpled to the Ice while muttering a few expletives.  Free pass McCluskey to choke....with the other D-Man coming across I cut in front of the Goal and parked it high on the glove side...1-0.

Hob got one, Ti-Boy got one, and PA, who was part of that shameful stomping the other night, lead the charge with a Hat Trick.  Saving the best for last.  We broke out of our end and got it to the neutral zone, Gilles had it along the Left Wing, I hollered "Boards".  Gilles chipped it up perfectly, I picked it up with some speed and carried it in on a two on one with PA over on the right.  The D-Man collapsed to my side and with a back checker coming up the middle, I zipped it over to PA breaking in.  PA one timed it and banged it home, then lost his footing and went crashing into the "Chick" Goalie.  (Insert Five Hole Joke here).  He said it was the most female action he's seen in months!

Of course last but not least, Allain got his first shutout of the year. Allain was solid all night, controlling the rebounds and not giving up a thing. We had a few terrible give aways up the middle as we started to get tired, but Al was there to clean up the mess.  Not counting that silly penalty shot at the end of the last game, that's 2 scoreless games Allain has put up.  Way to go Rookie!  On the way out last night Allain made a request for a 'Blonde' in the Tasty Treat section.  For back to back wins and a shutout....I'll give ya two!

There ya have it....Pride Restored!

Back in the Win Column & Lip Fur

Good solid outing.  Beat the White Bastards 5-1*.  You may be wondering why the asteriks?  Well we would have won 5-0, to give Allain his first shoutout of the year....but noooooo.  Marc, who honestly hasn't been hanging out in the Sin Bin as much as years past, decided "What the Hell", with less than 3 minutes left, to moleste some Dude along the boards in our own end, and gave him, what looked like, an old Reach Around.


You got it...called for a 'Reach Around' aka Holding....penalty shot.  They put out their Ringer and he beat Allain for their only goal of the game.  So it ended 5-1.  


We had a good solid game with one skater shy of 3 lines.  We jumped out to a 2-0 lead.  It stayed that way for most of the first half.  Allain made some solid stops to keep our 2 goal lead.  We got the third one and it seemed to break 'em.  We had a few bad give aways up the middle, but kept it, for the most part, up the boards.  The forwards were coming back and we managed to limit their second chances after the initial shot.


It could have been much worse, with many of us missing some great chances.  Claude had the worst of it, has he had an open net to park it, but 
Wally came sliding over to stack the pads in a classic save, while Claude was already thinking about his victory dance.  Not to be outdone, PA and myself missed enough goals that would have made it look like a Canada vs. Japan wowen's Olympic hockey game.  But, Hey!  We'll save those for another game.

The most disturbing thing of the night was Pierre's fur under his nose and just above his gaping Pie Hole.  He was gracious enough to send this to me in an email.

http://ca.movember.com/mospace/1154378/

How would you like to open an email and be confronted with this?  I said, "DAMN, Dude!  You gotta put a warning in the subject!".  I almost gagged on my coffee and sprayed it all over my laptop through my nose!


See ya Saturday, Ladies.

A Grim tale indeed.....

I can't recount the horror first hand so I'll let our guest poster dish out the details.

Email I received from PA

"From an early lead of 3-0, we lost 3-13.   If your counting, that is 13 unanswered goals.  It was not pretty.  We can’t even blame the goal tender or the refs.

Suffice to say, we spent our load early and did not have anything left in the bank.  They just skated around us; nobody was committed to stopping them; if you made an effort to stop one guy he simply passed it to another open guy.

At one point, on our powerplay, they had a two man breakaway.

It would be nice to point out that we were only 9 skaters, but the shine on that excuse wears off quickly when you acknowledge they were only 8…. And they had the chick in nets!

The good news is the mood in the dressing room was upbeat when Hob told us his penitentiary stories."

Grim....very grim...the Shame.


And then this comment came from Pierre:

"The good news is that I just spoke to Jos.   They scored so many and so quick that they lost track.  They said it was 11-3...     I didn't tell him the difference, but told him to F?#$%? off for coming in our room afterwards. " 

Close one

4-3 loss to the White Bastards.  Now some will say their winning goal was contorversial….but it counted.  Don’t think we ever had the lead.  It was 2-1 for the White Bastards and we tied it to make it 2-2.  But they scored what seemed like not a minute later.  We battled and were able to tie it a 3 all.  Once again they scored quickly to take the lead 4-3 with about 6 minutes to go.

We had our chances on Wally but didn’t seem to get the bounces tonight.  Alain was solid again and kept us in it.  We pulled Alain with about 1:30 left with a face off in their end. We had great possession and managed to work it to the front of the net to bang away.  We had a couple of good “keep ins” at the Blue line to keep the pressure on.  In the final seconds we managed to work it to PA right in the low slot.  PA got a good shot away but hit Wally right in the left pad.  That’s 0-2 against the White Bastards.

It all started in Bantam....

That's two in a row, Kids!  Beat the Green Bastards 3-2 in a come from behind win.  We had Andy, Marc, Ti-Gas, & Pierre on D with myself, George, Karl, PA, T-Boy, Ken, Pat, and John up front.


Got behind early 1-0 on a bad rebound.  Then we tied it up short handed. Yours truly jumped up to intercept a pass at their blue line took a couple of strides and popped it low stick side on Rob "The Bastard". Fell behind again 2-1.  Another odd goal.  They centered it off a scramble an it went off Alain's back and in.


We settled in for a while going back and forth.  Alain was solid and didn't give up anything the rest of the way, stopping a couple of breakaways along the way.  We tied it up on the powre play just before the half with a beauty passing play with PA finishing and puttin' it behind Rob.  


Mid way throug the 2nd half Karl, John, & myself grabbed a loose puck in the neutral zone...up to Johnny who crossed the blue line with their D backing in, dropped it to me in the slot and I let 'er rip stick side, TOP SHELF WHERE MOMMY KEEPS THE PEANUT BUTTER, BABY!  
(this is not a misprint..I scored two..do not adjust your screen)


The second half was a chippy affair with penalties on both sides.  A couple of misconducts for the Green Bastards, and we held on during a wild final two minutes for the 3-2 win.  Take that ya Green Bastards!


Part II


I know this insn't a place for Wives and Kids but ya gotta see the great pics we got of Charlie & Jack from the Daycare.....let me know if you want prints.
Jack & Charlie Picture Day

It's a simple Game

First win of the year.  After the incredible Stink Fest we had 2 days prior it was time to get our collective Shit together.  We had 10 skaters, with myself, Marc, Pierre, & Ti-Gas on D with Karl, George, Pat, Ti-Boy, Hob, & Claude up front.


We said we just had to keep it simple, up the boards in our own end, and shoot and drive the net at the other.....SIMPLE.  It's exactly what we did.  We came out and the boys were shooting right away and we started banging away at the rebounds and loose pucks in their end.  We worked the puck down low and got to the front of the net to bang away.  It set the tone right off the bat.


We jumped out to 2-0 lead, and then it was 3 then it was 4-0.  Couple of power plays sprinkled in there for both teams, but that was a pretty grim display by both sides.  We had 'em in a hole and it sucked the life out of them, they stopped skating.  They got one to make it 4-1, but Alain was solid and we kept it  up the boards in our own end. 

We made in 5-1 and the rout was on.  It ended 8-2.  The only thing we lost all night was the face-offs....we stank it up in that department. Take that ya Black Bastards!

Dude! WTF was that S**T!

Before we begin the report on last night's game, let me bring you up to speed.  Last Saturday we lost 3-2 to the Green Bastards on the Olympic Ice.  Needless to say the 8 skaters who showed up gave the rest of us the 'Ole Stink Eye for having not been there!  
Seems the Green Bastards got a couple of penalties called in the last 3 min but wouldn't confirm with the Ref that it was a Penalty shot......Pricks!


Now on to last nights utter Debacle:


Things started off little rough and we fell behind 3-1.  But we scrapped our way back to tie it 3-3 at the half.  We changed ends, even as Wally was putting up a stink.  It all went to Shit after that!

They jumped out to a 5-3 lead but at that point we were still in it with about 17 mins to go....then the wheels fell off and we collective Shat the Bed!  We stopped shooting, weren't driving the net and were continuously beaten to every loose puck. 
Add to that some sloppy play in our own end and some brutal line changes and they scored on a knuckle baller and.... Stick a fork in us we're done!  They scored two more, one off of Pierre's knee pad and the last was a centering shot that hit off their player and in.  


There ya have it....Final 8-3 and an 0-3 start to the year.  Our goalie is already thinking of bailing.....(did we get his commitment in writing?) 

2010 Kick Off

Not much to report.  5-4 loss to the Black Bastards to kick off 2010.   Yours truly has to miss the first two games 'cause Da Wife is out of town.

Champs! Baby!

The Boys pulled it off!  We won our Division of the Dynomites year end tournament.  Of COURSE!  Our pic was the only one the was blurry, but there we is!  


It wasn't purdy, but we took it home with a 2-1 win.  The boys played a smart game, kept it simple and great goaltending and there ya have it.  Kenny got us on the board first with banger close in.  Hob got the winner with a shot from just inside the blue line, right on the ice, that deflected and changed speeds and fooled the other goalie.  


We survived a late penalty kill and Jim Bob was solid all game and came up with a few game savors when things got a bit harry in our own end.

League Season ends with a whimper....

Lost to the Black Bastards 5-4.  We were trailing most of the night but managed to tie it up at 4 with about 8 minutes left.  Then we had a terrible line change and they scored on a rebound off the rush.  "Big" Joe got called for something and we had a power play for the last 3 minutes of the game.  Managed to get a face off in their end, we pulled Warren, but nuttin'.....came up limp with the Chick in the net.


So ends the season for the League.  A losing season at 15-19-1.


It's off to the Dynomites Tournament to end the year.


On a personal note.  Billy creamed me with a high shot from the point, right in the ribs, as I was trying to screen.
I finished the game but after my shower I started to tighten up and this morning I struggled to get out of bed and tie my shoes....FUCK!  I coughed to clear my throat at one point this morning.....not a good idea!


I doubt I'll play tonight or Friday.  Maybe I'll go Saturday.  So that may be the end of my season.  Maybe I'll just go to the games, steal everybody's 2 for 1 Beer tickets, get Gooned behind the bench and holler obscenities at the Refs and anyone else in earshot!

....A WIN!

Finally got ourselves a win.  Beat the White Bastards.  We jumped out to a lead and were pretty much taking the play to 'em.  It was 4 or 5-0 at one point.  Then all of a sudden we fell asleep in the second and before we knew it, it was 5-3.  We woke up and popped a few more and to put an end to it with a convincing win 7-2.


Chew on that all summer ya White Bastards!

Ya, whatever….

Out skated, outmatched, out everyting….

Those pricks “Brian Richard” team put one on us.  7-1 or something.  Whatever….

They won’t get our vote if they want to join our league…

Sonofabitch !

Well let’s see…where to start?  Oh I know, I’ll just copy the post from the last time we played the Green Bastards!  Stoned again!

Rob absolutely robbed us.  We jumped out to a 2-0 lead but they got a quick one to make it 2-1.  Then we settled in.  For the next 20 minutes we peppered Rob but couldn’t finish.  We should have put this Fucker to bed……but noooooo……

Let’s let them hang around!  The game ended in a flurry.  We got a power play which they promptly scored a short handed goal to tie it up at 2-2.  Then they got another to make it 3-2.  Pierre made a great play to jump on a loose puck in the neutral zone, carried it across the blue line, cut to his forehand and let a great wrist shot go and caught Rob going the other way….3-3. 

But as this game will do to you, from hero to goat in less than 2 minutes.  Pierre got caught pinching at the blue line and they cam down 3 on 1.  Bam!….we’re down after just tying it 4-3.

We scramble in the last minutes.  I managed to forecheck and get the puck in their end, with a little scramble I backhanded it to Pat in front of the net, he made a move and slid it under a stretched out Rob.  It slowly slid through the crease and was heading in when one of their D swiped it out.  We jumped and said it was IN!  The ref was waving it off….the play continued.

Warren was out and as we regrouped in our own end with about 40 seconds to go for one more rush, Kevin grabbed it at the side of the net and whipped around to throw it up the middle…..but NOOOOOO!!

Hob was cutting across and it hit of his leg and into our own empty net……PERFECT!  5-4.

Green Bastards…my new favorite HATE!

Country that Pees together...Wins GOLD

Ya gotta see this chart!

flush_game.5va6dz765ugw8880gswc80w8o.bxj7bs82axw0g448owg4gc8so.th.png (545�373)

Family Jewels!

A  little known fact....
The first testicular guard "Cup" was used in Hockey in 1874  and the first helmet was used  in  1974.
That means it took men 100 years to realize that their brain is important too.

4 on 4

Another loss….sort of.  We played the Black / Orange Bastards last night. They had 8 skaters we had 7.  So 4 on 4!

Just as we’re about to start, that ‘Jerkoff” of a referee declares that the Black Bastards Goalie mask is illegal.  So one of the Black Bastards tells the Refs to “Get lost!”  So off the Zebras go….later Arse Pipes!

We played 4 on 4 with no Refs.  It was a good skate and it was fun, something a little different.  Basically a pick up game.  Don’t think the Goalies were having much fun.  We lost by one.  6-5 or 5-4…or something like that. 

Once again even with this format we out chanced ‘em.  Claude missed two breakaways in the same shift.  Karl missed a breakaway, and yours truly had 4 or 5 great chances, I got one.  P.A. had the hot hand with 3 or 4 goals.  We definitely outshot them.

Basically a non-game, but nobody was bitchin’ bout ice time!

Oglympics

Oglympics

For those of us suffering from Olympics withdraw.....Now this is my kind of coverage!

Rob is "King Bastard"! & We're a bunch of Monkeys!

Well that just rots!  Wally stepped in net for us after playing the first game.  We couldn't come up with a Goalie. His comments after the game went something like "I was getting bored and cold".....ya, OK.  So you got about 10 shots and 5 went in.  It was still better than playing with the net turned around, he certainly didn't owe us anything.


Rob of the Green Bastards single handedly beat us.  We must have thrown 35 to 40 shots on the Bastard.  Mind you, a lot of them we hit 'em right in the gut, but none the less we couldn't put one past him.


So there ya have it.  A story often told here on the Lewisville Hockey Club Blog.  WE CAN'T SCORE!

Miserable White Bastards!

Not a good game for the 'Ole Lewisville Hockey Team.  The score was 4-2 but we got two very late goals so it wasn't as close as the score would indicate.


Billy, Andy and myself on D were under siege all night.  It was probably the best White Team we've seen in a while.  They Pricks were loafing all night and all they would do would just fire it, or flip it out of their end all night.  They were coming at us with 3 on 2's and odd man rushes all night.  They did Hustle.  It was the hardest they've worked in a while.


Of course it wasn't all one-sided.  We had our chances, Ti-Boy hit the Crossbar, but we couldn't finish.  Pat, George, Karl, Ti-Boy, Ken, and P.A. didn't pack much of a punch up front.  We really didn't test their Goalie.
  
P.A. had a beauty 'Swing n Miss' on a one timer in the slot which was quite lovely and Billy had a 'Graceful' Triple Sow-Cow.  George on the other hand looked 'Marvelous' with his nicely golden brown roasted carcass. Pete our new Goalie recruit had a decent game and he's willing to play more when we need him.  Circle the next game against these pricks!
Damn I hate losing to the White Bastards!

Back at .500


PS.  The Bruin Honey goes out to our Boy Andy!

Smokin' !

Hot Damn!  Probably one of the best games of the year.  Beat the Green Bastards 6-4.  It was a FAST paced, up and down game at the small Centennial Rink. We had ten skaters, Pierre, Ti-Gas, Billy and myself on D.  Up front we had P.A., Karl, Pat, Ti-Boy, Babe & Ken.


Pat had a huge game for us scoring 3 or 4 and Warren came up big and was solid all night.  We never trailed the whole night.  Jumped out to a 1-0 lead.  They tied it 1-1.  We got another to make it 2-1 at halftime.  


We scored a quick one right off the face off to start the second to make 3-1.  In true Lewisville fashion, we had plenty of chances to put this thing out of reach early in the second but couldn't finish.  We got caught will a long shift and couldn't clear our end and they popped one in on a scramble to make it 3-2.  We kept our cool and got that one back to make it 4-2.  They kept coming and got another to make it 4-3.  But that would be as close as they came.  


We finally finished off a few plays, got a lucky bounce from behind their net and jumped out to a 6-3 lead.  They got a fluky one right off the face off with about 40 seconds left to make it 6-4....and that's all she wrote.  Take that ya Green Pricks!


Oh yeah.  For those of you who didn't come to the Bar after the game we gave your best to Paul Coffey, Bjore Salming, & Rick Vive.  We had to explain to them that they were sitting at our table and to scram.

Two in Row! Hit .500!

Two in a row!  On a Roll!  Back at .500 for the first time since about Week 4 of the season.  Not much to report, I wasn't at the games.

Which makes me wonder if I should stay away....this shit ain't good for my ego.

DAMN! Tough one.

Lost to the Orange/Black Bastards 3-2.  We had the lead 1-0, then again at 2-1.  But they came back to tie and get the go ahead goal.  It was a very quick game and the Orange Bastards were gunning for us.
Same as always.  We had lots of chances early to pull ahead by two or three but came up empty.  Both goalies had good games.

Revenge!

Ti-Gas Reports:

For those missing last night, we beat the green team 3 – 1.  We had 2 lines even.  Green team took an early lead with a point shot that went off one of their players’ glove ( @#$@#$ goal).  We had most of the control for first 35 minutes, and then our legs gave up.  However, we held on for the W.  We played good, but they were pressing hard in the last 10 minutes of the game.  The monkey is now off our back.

Good job Boys

Back on Track

Good hard fought win.  Beat the Black/Orange Bastards 6-4.  After falling behind 3-1 we kept digging to tie it up. Only to fall behind 4-3 after seemingly getting the momentum. 

No matter we tied it up again and never looked back.  Scored a couple more to beat ‘em down 6-4.  Kenny had the hot hand and was Johnny on the spot all night and led the way with the Hat Trick.  Of course then he ruined it all by going on about his “Go Button” in the dressing room.


Warren was solid and made some key saves.  Had a good turn out with 3 lines at that made the difference.  We wore em down.  On to the next Bastards.

"Collective Suck"...is that like a Circle Jerk?

After riding a 3 game Win Streak and winning 4 out of the last five we came crashing down with a resounding THUD! last night.

First off, a shout goes out to Warren who single handidly faced the Green Bastards, and kept it to a somewhat respectabel 6-1 Loss to the the Green Pukes!  The rest of us....well let's just say...we had a leisurely skate.

Bottom line though is they out skated us and out worked us....period.  We had Ten Skaters and only one true D man, Andy.  PA, Hob, and myself took up the Blue line.  Pat, Ti-Boy, George, Karl, John, and Kenny were up front.

Yours truly laid an extra Special Turd of a game out there, coughing it up repeatdedly.  But George said it best after the game, "It was a Collective Suck!"....we all bear the shame of that Stinker!

We owe the Green Bastards now!  They were still loafing and trying to score with 5 to 6 minutes to go.  And worst of all that hot line of of 6, 16, & 15 were having a jolly good time giggling out there and all smiles....those Fucks!

Screw it!  Let's forget that shit and get back on track Saturday and circle the next game against the Green Bastards on the Calendar.  Oh it's ON! Game ON, MudderFackers!

Dad hard at Work

Take that!

We Rolling!  3 in a Row, Baby!  Had nine skaters out, and not exactly a speedy bunch shall we say, but we put a beat down on the Orange Bastards 7-2. (Formerly known as the Black Bastards).  


We got the first one and then they tied it to make it 1-1.  The hot line last night of Ti-Boy, PA, and Pat got two quick ones on the same shift and we jumped out 3-1.


Warren was solid, made some great saves, and didn't give 'em anything cheap to get 'em back into it.  We did a good job of keeping the shots to the outside and took care of the front of the net.  After the halftime break we got another to make it 4-1 and we never looked back.


Solid effort all.  Marc, Andy & Ti-Gars on D. PA, Ti-Boy, Pat, Doug, George, and "Sleepy" Karl up front.

On a Roll !!

Two in a Row!  Andy reports that we only had 8 Skaters but took it to the Young Red Bastards and got the win 3-2.  Chalk one up for the 'Ole Farts!

Ok...so we're .500 in 2010

Not many details.....

Just an email from Ti-Gars reporting a 6-3 Win against the White Bastards!  Feel free to fill in the details in the comments.

Dust up in the New Year

Not much to say about this Game. Seems I'm writing the same story. Lost 4-1 to the Green Bastards. Fast paced game. We we're down 1-0 and then went about missing two breakaways and a few other good chances....could've change the game around...but came up empty again.

Had a dust up that sent Babe and one of their guys to the dressing room and after all was said and done we got shafted with the extra penalty. We then went about yakking with the Refs and ran off a good five minutes on the clock when it was still only 2-0.

Welcome to 2010

Slut Spill

VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill