Kijiji search "Goalie"....Part II

Well there ya have it!  A WIN!  With our Boy Steve straight outta Kijiji between the pipes.  He didn't have to do a lot of work but he came up with a couple of good stops.  One really good one on a slide across the crease.

Things didn't look promising early on.  It was tied 1-1 for most of the first half and in true Lewisville tradition we could put one in.  We could easily have been up 2 or 3 but we were letting them hang around.  Then P.A. got one early in the second and we were off and running. The "Young" Karl Barter showed up once again!  Karl continued with the his hot streak with a hat trick.

We finally beat that "Chick" in net, Damn!  No more of that shit!

The beer seemed to taste a little better after that win.  Oh, ya!  Andy is still looking for his jock strap, so keep an eye out!

Kijiji seach: "Goalie".....

Kudos to Denis for getting us a Goalie (I use that term lightly) for last nights game at the last minute.

It was apparent during the warm up it was going to be one of those nights And it was....Oh, it was!  They, the Green Bastards, got 'maybe' 20 shots and they scored 11 or 12....I stopped counting.

Our Boy Steve, Goalie by Kijiji, was clearly out of his league, but it's better than no Goalie. Hey, guy shows up at 10pm at night to a room full of strangers and gets shellacked!  Gotta give 'em some credit, 'cause he ain't got no talent.

Our problems still remain, we dominated the play for long stretches but couldn't bury any. We got 3 but but missed a bunch.  Karl had the hot hand a got two.

What's ahead you ask?  Well it's just a Saturday Matchup with the Black Bastards with our Boy Steve penciled in between the pipes.  With the Santa Claus parade this Saturday, it's gonna be a long 60 min. for whoever shows.

(Note to self: Bring extra Beer!)

Now this is TALENT!

Kiss 'yer Sister! At Tie!

Our first Guest Blogger of the year!  Let’s have a big Dressing Room Welcome for.....

Denis “I’d Tap dat Ass” Gagnon!

“It’s a big W for Saturday night’s game – ah, not quite, but close enough.  It was a 5-5 tie against the white bastards.  Chalk it up as a moral victory though.  With only 7 guys (eight really, we picked up a defense from the other team), with our tongues hanging low, there was no reason for the zamboni to clear the ice.  Some boyz complained of frost bite. I know what you’re thinking, how did we score 5 goals in a game.  Man, it was a beautiful display of technical abilities.  Karl “is this mike on” Barter scored a hat trick (that’s 3 goals in a game by the same player…. an explanation is required since we haven’t seen this in a long time), top shelf goals from both Kenny “don’t put me defense” Brooks and Ti-boy “backpass” Cormier.  A solid performance by both the Defense and Richard “Draino”.  The white team showed a poor display in sportsmanship… The referee called a high stick on Dildo (# 19 from the white team, the guy that fought with Ken) and they argued it wasn’t a penalty.  The young ref didn’t know any better and the game resumed with out arse hole in the penalty box.  But hold on, karma is great.  About 30 seconds after that display, Karl put one in…SWEEEET.  They also had 2 spares that were clearly younger than 30 yrs old, one in fact probably played in the Q.  At one point, we were leading 5 – 2, but our wheels started to fall off around 20 minutes left in the game and, with about 1 minute left, they put on a power play to score the tying goal.  The worst of it is # 19 scored a squeaker. 

At issue is the fact that only 7 players showed up each of the last 2 games.  Stop F*&&&*^% around and call Ti-gars when you can’t make it, and don’t call me 1 hour before the game.”

KARMA !

Last Man Back!

First let's get this outta of the way....Fuck....Fuck....Fuck....Fuck....Fuck....Fuck....Fuck....
Yup lost AGAIN!  Oh, I forgot something....Shit Slingin', Donkey Snot, Gooey Puss, FUCK!!!

All I know is that we had the lead at 2-1 then again later at 5-4 but ended up losing 7-5 with an empty netter.  I still think we were trailing by two at the end, but whatever.  The end result another Stinkin' loss!  We only had 7 skaters and had to borrow one of their guys.  He played D with Pierre and I.  Let's just say it was probably his first game on the Blue Line!

I won't bore you with the details, I'll let you guys fill in the gaps in the comments,  but I gave up the tying goal on what I thought was a delayed off-side.  ShitNugget poked it off my stick....hence "Last Man Back", and walked in alone.  Looks like not only is my eyesight going, but apparently my hearing too.  I swear I heard the Refs holler "Off Side"! 

The extra Bonus for yours truly is I got tangled up with Big Joe behind our net and he promptly fell on my NEW stick and snapped it in half......of course they scored on that play too as I was running around in our end without a stick!  Ya, playing with no sitck in a no-contact league is like being a One Legged Man at an Ass Kicking Contest!  So there goes my whole summer of saving my Canadian Tire money!  I guess I'll just have to hide in the bushes outside Maritime Sports and knock over some spoiled brat Pee Wee, grab his new $80 graphite stick, kick his mother in the Kwamee, and make a run for it if I want a new stick!

SILLY ME!  I forgot to mention that it was that CHICK in net!  The Pussy with the Pads, the Twat in the Twine, Bitch with the Blocker.....wait....wait....I think I got one more....the Cunt in the Crease (oh, that was harsh)!

Normally the Blog has a purging effect for me, but this morning I feel no satisfaction.  But to 'Satisfy' you, my teamates, with your request for more Eye Candy....I'll leave you with this and an updated 'Tasty Treat'

Deserved Better.

In short lost to the Green Bastards 3-1. That makes three in a row to them, who will now be known as the Green Fucking Bastards.

They got an early goal right off the face off in our end (never ming who lost the face off...Doh!).

The game went back and forth. We got solid work between the pipes from Warren, but we did a lot of running around in our own end. Need a little refresher on defensive zone positioning.

It was painfully obvious when we had to kill off two penalties. We managed to get screwed up on the bench as to who was coming and going. This culminated with our second penalty a "Too many men on the Ice". Never mind the "EXTRA" man, I think we had about 10 out there.

We certainly were getting our chances but in fine Lewisville fashion we couldn't finish. Have I mentioned before that WE CAN'T SCORE!

The killer was a BAD Call on Babe, for interference. They scored on the powerplay to go up 2-0. That seemed to suck the life outta of us. The third goal was a powerplay as well.

We scored the last goal late to break the shutout and save some face to make the final 3-1.

Son of Bitch......

Put THAT in your Damn Blog!

Well we finally got off the skid! First game of the year against the "New" team and we put a SMACK on 'em 8-3. I guess we'll call 'em the RED Bastards.

They jumped out to 3-1 lead and it didn't look good early on. They had a lot of jump. Richard kept us in during the early going and didnt' let it get out of hand. We got a spark from a highlight reel goal (won't mention who) that made it 3-2. We never looked back. We soon tied it up and went on to a lopsided win.

We had three lines and 4 D. We were really changing well and everyone was coming back to help in our own end. We were throwing pucks at the net and getting some traffic and they started going in.

In the second half we started to really move the puck well and our three lines started to wear 'em out. Easily our best game this year.

We'll see if we can keep it going...

Other shit going on that night...Leafs WON (shocking)! Habs lost, and the Blue Eagles got SPANKED! Thanks Pierre for the ticket, and Bill for the Beer after the Eagles debacle. Other notes: Never let Pierre touch your remote.

Skunked!! 4-0

So what's worse? Getting beat by a girl or getting shut out? Damn Green Bastards! That's two in a row now they've whooped us.

Things got going and it was clear they had a couple of good lines and they were hustling. They got the first one on a good goal and jumped out 1-0. Warren had a great game and made some big stops to keep it close. We didn't have a very good game in our own end. We coughed it up and we just weren't supporting the puck to get 'er out.

They got the second to make it 2-0. It looked like it was off-side but we made a horrilbe turn over at our own blue line and got caught heading up ice, leaving Warren outnumbered again.

It stayed that way for a while and we were getting our chances and controlling the play. But in true Lewisville fashion we couldn't put one in. They got the next two right off the left faceoff circle in our end. Basic X & O shit we teach PeeWee's. Stick with your man after the faceoff until we get possession and for Christ's sake don't leave your own end before the puck...Doh!

Offensively we can't finish. We couldn't shoot it in the ocean if we were standing on the beach! We're not driving the net or creating any traffic. We control the puck well and cycle but most of our shots are from the perimeter and we're not getting to any rebounds. Even when we were getting shots through from the point, we were standing in the corner and not banging away. They were picking up the rebounds out they came.

Coming in on the rush we were often looking to make that back pass and were turning it over which was creating odd man rushes the other way. As the D we just weren't able to get up to the line and keep 'er in. Even when we tried to pinch we didn't get the bounce or misplayed it and away they went.

There ya have it! Not much positive aside from our guy between the pipes. We just couldn't put one in and change the momentum of the game. Also we're just not skating very well either guys. I know it's early but the last couple of losses we just got out skated and out hustled.

Boys, I 'tinks we got get back to basics. Take care of the puck in our own end and start driving the net. Never mind this back pass, dipsy-doodle shit. We gotta gain the zone, get a shot and drive the net. We gotta start getting some ugly goals.

Thank God for the Beer & Comedy after the game... We're starting look like the Leafs! Ok, that's my RANT.

PS. I set the option so that anyone can leave comments. A couple of you guys mentioned that you couldn't leave comments because you needed a gmail account. Try again a let me know.