Tie...like kissing yer Sister.

7-7 Tie...dat dere is a lot of goals for about an hours worth of play. On D we had Ti-Gas, Marc, myseld and new guy "Marc".  Up front we had Hob, John, Gilles, Karl, Pat, and Ken.  The black Bastards were a man short of 2 lines, so PA headed over ....TRAITOR!  We brought in Richard (Harry Drain) to take up the spot between the pipes...why he showed up after being bombed for 13 goals the last time ....we're stlll not sure....but we were thankful.


First let me state right here, right now, that I handed in one of my most dreadful performances.  Right up there with the time I showed up Stinking Drunk when we played in the Sunday Night league....but that's another story. 


We jumped out to a 3-1 lead only to see it vanish and found ourselves behind 4-3.  Then the fun began.  We tied it 4-4, then they went up 5-4, we tied it 5-5, they went ahead 6-5...are you starting to see a pattern?  We tied it 6-6, then with about a 3 minutes to go they scored on a 2 on 1 which yours truly help create by pinching at the other end and coming with nothing but my dick in my hand....so we're down 7-6.


We pull Richard with about 1:30 to go and sure enough, Kenny bangs home a loose puck and ties it with about 50 seconds to go.  The Black Bastards managed to get the face off and dump it in.  I raced back and banged it hard up the boards, their winger got a piece of it and their D managed to bang it back in (our winger...don't know).  Richard manages to get a glove on it, and instead of freezing it for a face off and game over...he drops it in the back of the net.  I circle around take a look up.  Both winger and D are hugging the boards (our winger...don't know) so I decide to flip it out....One of the Black Bastards gloves it out of the air, about shoulder height and they get another good shot.  But it stands...7-7.  Whew!


We hung in there.  We could easily have folded many times but we kept coming back. All in all it was just one of those games.  Although it was one of the better games the Black Bastards put together...pricks! 

Four in a Row!

We had 2 lines bang on.  Myself, Andy, Ti-Gas and PA on the Blue Line with Hob, T-Boy, Claude, George, Gilles, and Karl up front.  I know what you're thinking.....Collective team speed was the equivalent of an old Farm Tractor

To top it off, Ti-Gas had to dip into the Kijiji well for a Goalie.  Derrick showed up, from Riverview....Great...."Un Cris de Tete Carre!"   He looked the part, and at least this guy had Goalie Skates and all the proper gear.  Let's just say our warm up didn't instill much confidence.  Hob summed it up just before the opening face off, "This guy sucks!".  .....Here we Go!


Ti-Boy popped out of the Gate with 2 quick goals and staked us to 2-0 lead early.  Hob banged one in and made it 3-0.  The White Bastards we coming but we managed to keep 'em to the outside and we just banged it out the boards.  The forwards were good coming back and we managed to get 'er out.  It wasn't purdy but it did the job.  Our D had good sticks all night.  We just seemed to be getting our sticks in the way and breaking up plays.  


Our Boy Derrick was a fairly big dude and managed to stay square to the puck.  He looked awkward but was making the saves.  He also wasn't giving up many big rebonds after the initial shot.  They finally got one to make 3-1 before the half.  


The second half we settled in to some back and forth....but it looked like the old Lewisville team showed up.  We kept getting chance after chance but just couldn't finish.  It had that feeling of, these misses were going to come back and bite us in the Ass!  But with about 3 minutes to go Karl poked the puck of their D-man stick to the side of their net. It looked like he was going to center it, but instead took a few steps to walk right out front and put a back hand over Wally's glove...Game...Set... Match...4-1.  Karl added another with about 30 seconds to when Karl was chasing down a puck and Wally came screaming out to almost the blue line with a dive....Karl got a good bounce, Calmly walked around a sliding D-Man and tucked it in to the open net to make it 5-1.


Take that ya White Bastards!

Back at .500

We're on a Roll!  That's 3 in a row, Kids!  Wore 'em Down and Wore 'em Out! Put a beat down on the Green Bastards 5-1.  We had another good turn out.  With myself, Marc, Ti-Gas, and Pierre on the Blue Line, and Hob, Johnny, Gilles, PA, Ti-Boy, Karl, and back from his conditioning stint with the Farm Team in Boston, George.


Stated out pretty stiff for both sides.  Had a decent pace and I would say we held the lead in shots for the first ten minutes.....but it stayed 0-0.  I think it was Hob got us on the board first to make it 1-0.  They tied it up at 1-1.  Lost a loose puck at our blue line and we got caught in our own end and they made it 1-1.  
We killed off one penalty and I think it was on our second penalty kill that Ti-Boy received and early Xmas present.  Numbnutts tried to come out of his own end up the middle and put right on Ti-boy's stick standing just inside the blue.  Ti-Boy calmly walked in and roofed it glove side on Rob.


Again, Allain was solid all night and never let 'em get back into the game.  We got a couple more from Gilles and Hob and that was about it....they folded like Superman on laundry day.  We had to kill off a couple of more penalties. We cashed in on one of the two we had.  George capped it off with "Georgian" Johnny on the spot goal in front of the net, right off  the face off.


There she be...5-1 ya Green Bastards.  Back at .500

Payback!....Bitches!

The night didn't start to well.  As we came out to take the ice, the Paramedics were there.  Seems the Ref from the previous game had a minor heart attack or something, so they had to take him out on a stretcher....he seemed OK though.

Well there we were facing the Black / Orange whatever Bastards who obliterated us 13-3 in our last meeting.  Not tonight ya dirty little Whores!  We spanked 'em 6-0 and sent them home with our frozen skate planted firmly up their Ass!  

We had 2 lines and 3 D.  Marc, Pierre, & Ti-Gas patrolling the Blue line with myself, PA, Hob, Ti-Boy, Claude and "New Guy" Gilles up front.  Yours truly got us on the board first as I broke out of our end their D-man pulled a classic pirouette at the Red line and crumpled to the Ice while muttering a few expletives.  Free pass McCluskey to choke....with the other D-Man coming across I cut in front of the Goal and parked it high on the glove side...1-0.

Hob got one, Ti-Boy got one, and PA, who was part of that shameful stomping the other night, lead the charge with a Hat Trick.  Saving the best for last.  We broke out of our end and got it to the neutral zone, Gilles had it along the Left Wing, I hollered "Boards".  Gilles chipped it up perfectly, I picked it up with some speed and carried it in on a two on one with PA over on the right.  The D-Man collapsed to my side and with a back checker coming up the middle, I zipped it over to PA breaking in.  PA one timed it and banged it home, then lost his footing and went crashing into the "Chick" Goalie.  (Insert Five Hole Joke here).  He said it was the most female action he's seen in months!

Of course last but not least, Allain got his first shutout of the year. Allain was solid all night, controlling the rebounds and not giving up a thing. We had a few terrible give aways up the middle as we started to get tired, but Al was there to clean up the mess.  Not counting that silly penalty shot at the end of the last game, that's 2 scoreless games Allain has put up.  Way to go Rookie!  On the way out last night Allain made a request for a 'Blonde' in the Tasty Treat section.  For back to back wins and a shutout....I'll give ya two!

There ya have it....Pride Restored!

Back in the Win Column & Lip Fur

Good solid outing.  Beat the White Bastards 5-1*.  You may be wondering why the asteriks?  Well we would have won 5-0, to give Allain his first shoutout of the year....but noooooo.  Marc, who honestly hasn't been hanging out in the Sin Bin as much as years past, decided "What the Hell", with less than 3 minutes left, to moleste some Dude along the boards in our own end, and gave him, what looked like, an old Reach Around.


You got it...called for a 'Reach Around' aka Holding....penalty shot.  They put out their Ringer and he beat Allain for their only goal of the game.  So it ended 5-1.  


We had a good solid game with one skater shy of 3 lines.  We jumped out to a 2-0 lead.  It stayed that way for most of the first half.  Allain made some solid stops to keep our 2 goal lead.  We got the third one and it seemed to break 'em.  We had a few bad give aways up the middle, but kept it, for the most part, up the boards.  The forwards were coming back and we managed to limit their second chances after the initial shot.


It could have been much worse, with many of us missing some great chances.  Claude had the worst of it, has he had an open net to park it, but 
Wally came sliding over to stack the pads in a classic save, while Claude was already thinking about his victory dance.  Not to be outdone, PA and myself missed enough goals that would have made it look like a Canada vs. Japan wowen's Olympic hockey game.  But, Hey!  We'll save those for another game.

The most disturbing thing of the night was Pierre's fur under his nose and just above his gaping Pie Hole.  He was gracious enough to send this to me in an email.

http://ca.movember.com/mospace/1154378/

How would you like to open an email and be confronted with this?  I said, "DAMN, Dude!  You gotta put a warning in the subject!".  I almost gagged on my coffee and sprayed it all over my laptop through my nose!


See ya Saturday, Ladies.

A Grim tale indeed.....

I can't recount the horror first hand so I'll let our guest poster dish out the details.

Email I received from PA

"From an early lead of 3-0, we lost 3-13.   If your counting, that is 13 unanswered goals.  It was not pretty.  We can’t even blame the goal tender or the refs.

Suffice to say, we spent our load early and did not have anything left in the bank.  They just skated around us; nobody was committed to stopping them; if you made an effort to stop one guy he simply passed it to another open guy.

At one point, on our powerplay, they had a two man breakaway.

It would be nice to point out that we were only 9 skaters, but the shine on that excuse wears off quickly when you acknowledge they were only 8…. And they had the chick in nets!

The good news is the mood in the dressing room was upbeat when Hob told us his penitentiary stories."

Grim....very grim...the Shame.


And then this comment came from Pierre:

"The good news is that I just spoke to Jos.   They scored so many and so quick that they lost track.  They said it was 11-3...     I didn't tell him the difference, but told him to F?#$%? off for coming in our room afterwards. " 

Close one

4-3 loss to the White Bastards.  Now some will say their winning goal was contorversial….but it counted.  Don’t think we ever had the lead.  It was 2-1 for the White Bastards and we tied it to make it 2-2.  But they scored what seemed like not a minute later.  We battled and were able to tie it a 3 all.  Once again they scored quickly to take the lead 4-3 with about 6 minutes to go.

We had our chances on Wally but didn’t seem to get the bounces tonight.  Alain was solid again and kept us in it.  We pulled Alain with about 1:30 left with a face off in their end. We had great possession and managed to work it to the front of the net to bang away.  We had a couple of good “keep ins” at the Blue line to keep the pressure on.  In the final seconds we managed to work it to PA right in the low slot.  PA got a good shot away but hit Wally right in the left pad.  That’s 0-2 against the White Bastards.