Back on track

Back in the W column.  We put a 7-2 beat down on the Black/Orange Bastards. On the back end we had Pierre, Ti-Gas, Bill & Ken.  Upfront we had myself, Gilles, Hob, Guy, George, PA, & John.

We got off to a much better start.  We were better at getting it out of our end, although we definitely still need some improvements there.  The biggest difference is we were hanging on to it better through the neutral zone and were able to carry the puck in.  As mentioned after last weeks game, we dumbed 'er down. We were shooting and going to the net. We started getting some early chances and it seemed to give us some jump.  We jumped out to 3-0 lead.  Then in one shift, they got one to make it 3-1 and we went right back up and scored two all within the space of a couple of minutes to make if 5-1.  Things settle in and we started to fall asleep.  They slowly took the momentum and scored a couple to make it 5-3 with more than 10 minutes to go.  We slowly started to push back and then we got a power play from a high sticking call.  PA popped one in on the ensuing Power Play and Guy capped it off with another late to make it 7-2.  We cruised to the finish and there ya have it ya Black Bastards!  7-2 for the good guys!

The highlight or lowlight depending on how you look at it was the Black Bastards second goal.  Kenny was tied up in front of our net with someone and promptly proceed to dump his sorry ass on the ice while simultaneously Hob tried to clear it out or our end with a pass across the blue line.  Their D man intercepted and fired a quick wrist shot at the net.  Meanwhile, Ron was enjoying the molestation of this guy as the puck slid gently by into the net.  The ref himself unsure of what the Fuck just happened....called Goal!  Waved off the delayed penalty while both teams stood around confused.  A clusterfuck of a play worthy of any Beer League highlight reel!

Just a heads up!  The 'effing Beer store closes at 9pm now on weeknights.  Found that out the hard way.....Sonofabitch!

What's that smell?

That was some serious STINK!

Well that makes three in a row.  Three losses that is.  The Green Bastards put it to us 5-1.  Ron was by far our best player and kept it from getting very ugly.  We got off to a slow start again.  Giving up and early goal.  But at least it wasn't in the first 10 seconds.  We fell behind 2-0 and you got the feeling it was going to be a long night.  They popped another one and it was 3-0 before we started to get anything going.
Again we were outskated and to a man, were horrible with the puck, coughing it up over and over again in our own end and in the neutral zone.  Especially weak along the boards in our end with their D continually keeping it in and prolonging the play in our end. We can't hang onto it, we're waiting to long to move it and we're not making good passes.
We did get some chances but we weren't driving the net and a lot of our shots weren't getting through.  Off legs and sticks.  And to Rob The Green Bastard's credit, he was solid when he had to be and made a couple big stops and we just couldn't get anything going.
I seem to remember a similar stretch last year.  We turned it around.  We dumbed it down.

• Don't leave your own end before the puck.
• Make sure you get it out
• Put pucks at the net
• Drive the net for the garbage

It's beer league hockey boys....let's not make things complicated.

Don't forget to vote on the new Sweater issue.  See sidebar.

Hero to Goat

Before we get to Thursday's 6-2 loss let's get caught up with last Saturday's 6-3 loss.  That's right kids.  From the opening night win we've dropped two in a row.

It seems our PA with his hat trick on opening night got himself a different kind of hat trick last Saturday.  He got himself 3 penalties and tossed from the game.  Leaving an already short bench even shorter.  Hero to Goat....

Thursday was my turn to turn a trick.  After scoring on a penalty shot in the first game I coughed up the opening face off.  It came rolling straight back to me and I tried to shovel it over to Ti-Gas but it flubbed over my stick. Their winger grabbed it right up the middle and put one through the wickets.....Bang.  1-0 four seconds in.  Hero to Goat...

They jumped out to a 2-0 lead before we finally got one to make it 2-1.  They simply out skated us.  We couldn't hang on to the puck.  We couldn't give or take a pass and constantly coughed it up in the neutral zone.  During one disastrous shift they popped two to make it 4-1.  We scrapped and got another to make it 4-2.  The turning point came when on a two-on-one Ti-Boy walked in and rang one off the post.  That would have gotten us to within one....but it wasn't to be.  They banged in a couple more and there ya have it.....Final 6-2 for the White Bastards.

Now in an attempt to settle the issue of buying new Sweaters....Let's put it to a vote.  See sidebar.

Another Season Begins

Well Gents, here we go again!  


Another hockey season is upon like a Fat Kid on Smarties!  It's nice to see everyone survived the summer (Monsoon) we had. Also the trend of adding Girth to our overall lineup each season hasn't slowed.  Some have contributed more than others, and for that we thank you.


This year started off with resounding 6-1 Ass Whoopin' of the Green Bastards.  Early indications of the action didn't leave much room for hope, seeing how we barely left our own end.  New guy between the pipes, Ron, was probably saying WTF have I got myself into.  I gotta play behing these Monkeys all year! We soon started to straighten our shit out and head the other way.  We were lead once again by PA with a hat trick.  Because of this he is absolved from his attocious email sent earlier in the day. 


We got up to 3-0 lead and the game settled in.  Ron made some great saves through this stretch and never let them get any momentum.  Then my moment of Glory arrived....well...it arrived after an embarrassing play where I couldn't outskate the D on which I had a pretty good head start, and was hauled down on a breakaway. The ref called a penalty shot!  To which my immediate reaction was,"Can I call a time-out? Because I need about 5 minutes to suck in 3/4 of the oxygen in the building and my burning legs are incapable of lifting my bloated fat ass of the ice right now"!....what's that?...no, can't do that.  Alrighty then, off to center Ice we go.


Obviously I wanted to score to help win the game, but the real motivation came from knowing if I MISS....there are 15 of my so-called "Buddies" who'll rip me mercilessly until Xmas! And really that's the way it's gotta be.  So I dug deep into my bag of tricks...Ok...it's more like a purse...and it's not very deep.  I barreled down on Rob The Bastard...a couple of moves...a head fake for good measure and I put one by him on the backhand...Whew!


From there we cruised.  John & Karl had a tic tack...tick tack...another tic tack...and Toe goal. And PA finished off the night by completing his hat trick. Final 6-1 for the good guys.